


Where The Wild Things Are

by puszysty



Category: Popslash
Genre: Crack, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-01-07
Updated: 2008-01-07
Packaged: 2017-10-08 16:01:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,100
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/77356
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/puszysty/pseuds/puszysty
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>JC hates it when one of the busses breaks down.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Where The Wild Things Are

**Author's Note:**

> For duoshinigami for MTYG 2007

JC hates it when one of the busses breaks down. It's a pain in the ass and causes more chaos in the already crazy tour schedule. This time his bus has broken down in the middle of Iowa, or Nebraska, or one of those states with nothing but corn. He doesn't even like corn.

But what JC really hates about a bus breaking down is that all five of them have to pile on one bus in order to get to the venue on time. Five guys on one little bus was enough to drive a person mad. And that's saying something when you regularly share a bus with Chris.

JC is ticked off as he climbs aboard Joey and Lance's bus. The first thing he hears as he steps on is squeaking and JC wonders if the bus has actually been rat infested. It smells weird, though he can't really tell if it's the animals or just Joey. Probably both.

JC breathes a sigh of relief when he finds the bus isn't actually rat infested. Even though there are a few mice in a cage on what would be the dining table. "This is going to be a long trip," JC thinks. "I really hope they fix our bus soon."

"Welcome to the fun bus!" says Joey and slaps JC on the back.

JC cringes and scowls at Joey. "Fun bus my ass."

"What about your ass?" Lance calls from the couch.

"It's cuter than yours," JC smirks. "Now if you don't mind, I'm going to lock myself away in my bunk and pretend y'all don't exist for a while."

"What is up with him?" Lance asks Chris.

"Probably hasn't gotten any lately. You know JC." Chris winks at Lance. "He'll come around eventually."

 

After the concert, JC climbs aboard the bus. His energy is suddenly drained when he realizes he is still sharing a very crowded bus.

As JC lays down to sleep, he hears squeaking coming from someplace very nearby. "Goddamn, does everything on this bus squeak?"

"I don't!" shouts Chris.

"You do when you…."

"Shut up Justin, there are some things JC does not need to know!"

JC rolls his eyes and tries to prevent himself from picturing the possible meanings of that statement. He checks his bed for furry things that don't belong, and gladly finding none, rolls over to check the bunk beneath him. There in a cage he finds a chinchilla, its big, black eyes staring up at him. Even JC, in his sleep-deprived state, cannot resist its cuteness. "Alright furball," he tells it. "I'm letting you off the hook this time. But if you wake me up again, you're going to sleep under Justin's bunk. And having done that before, trust me that it's not a pleasant experience."

The chinchilla is still staring at him. "Goodnight," JC scowls, and closes the curtain to his bunk for what he hopes will be a decent night sleep and that the other bus will be fixed by morning.

 

The next day the guys are on their way to the next venue, and there's no word about the other bus. JC has decided that pretending nothing ever happened is his best bet. He sits on the couch with his copy of the Robert Frost poetry collection, even though really, wilderness is the last thing he wants to read poetry about. It's supposed to be inspirational, but all JC can think about is that the road less traveled is probably full of rhinos and leopards and other big things that would probably eat him.

The caged mice on the table across the aisle are going at it. JC finds it partly disturbing, but also oddly fascinating. It's like watching the Discovery Channel in 3D.

Justin walks in and notices the mice. "Dude, even the rats get more action than me!"

"They're mice," says JC. "And the fact that you're jealous of them is kind of sad, actually."

"It's perfectly ok to be jealous of mice. Especially when they can find ways to get some when they're caged up and I can't."

"Dude, even I'm not that desperate."

"That's because you have no problem masturbating on the bus. The fact that the other guys could hear what I'm doing freaks me out. I seem to think you get off on it."

"I do not. There are simply times when I need to release my sexual energy, you know"?

"Whatever JC. You're weird."

"Hey, I'm not the one who wants to be a mouse." Justin huffs and walks toward the back of the bus. JC goes back to his book, but the mice show no signs of stopping. He sighs and moves to his bunk. At least the furry things don't come in pairs there.

 

Day three, and the other bus still hasn't been fixed. The smell doesn't bother him anymore, but JC's getting increasingly impatient.

"JC, you aren't going anywhere, so you might as well have fun while you're here," Lance suggests.

Chris, probably on too much sugar, starts bouncing up and down. "Hey, let's haul out some old MMC tapes and laugh at JC and Justin!"

"What?! Fuck no!" JC exclaims.

"Oh c'mon. J and J over there tortured Lance and me with the Pleasure Island concert yesterday, it's only fair."

"Wait, how did I miss that?" JC asks, wondering how he failed to receive an invitation.

"You were too busy being pissy. See what you lose out on? Maybe you can help us find something to embarrass Joey. He claims he's impossible to embarrass, but we're sure there has to be something."

"If I help you, will you promise not to watch MMC?"

"Fuck no. If you don't help us, we'll put the mice in your bed."

 

After a tortuous hour of cheesy skits and hideous plaid outfits, JC thinks the mice in his bed might have been a better bet. He's also decided that plaid should be banned from retail stores everywhere. JC thinks he should call Tony and complain to him. He'd understand just how painful this was. At least Justin doesn't look too thrilled either.

"Guys, I think I've seen enough MMC to last me the next ten years, thanks. I'm going back to my bunk now."

"Oh c'mon JC!" exclaims Chris. "It's just starting to get good. Joey, where's that tape of JC attempting to rap?"

"You haul out that and I'm hitchhiking to the next venue."

Chris isn't fazed. "Sounds ok by me! Hey, you guys have popcorn on this bus, don't you?"

"We do," Joey replies, "but we reserve it for special viewings."

That statement is enough to make JC reconsider hitchhiking. He's intrigued. "Like?"

Joey grins. "Porn."

"Are you kidding me?" Chris says. "You've had porn this whole time and haven't bothered to share it with us?"

"Like I said: special viewings. I was waiting for JC to take the stick out of his ass before we enjoyed it."

"Who says JC hasn't still got stick in his ass? It seems wedged up there permanently."

"Chris, don't make me smack you. Put in that tape Joey. That oughtta shut him up quickly."

JC isn't sure where Joey picked up this tape, but he makes himself a mental note to ask him later. He also wonders why he didn't think of putting in porn himself. Apparently he'd forgotten how intensely the guys concentrate while watching porn. He figures he's safe from their prodding for now. And being able to watch naked people is pretty nice too.

All too soon, Justin speaks up. "Damn, how do they get into that position?"

"I see how it's done. Here, let me demonstrate."

"Lance is gonna demonstrate sex positions for us? This I gotta see."

Lance gets on the floor and proceeds to contort his body into a form that appears to involve having one leg over his head. "I still don't see it," Joey says, simultaneously studying Lance and the porn tape rather intently.

"Well, that's because it's just me down here, genius. Obviously they aren't having sex by themselves on that tape. JC, get down here. That'll demonstrate it better."

"Me? Oh, no way. Despite whatever warped images you have in your head, I don't get off on this kind of thing."

"What kind of thing?" Justin interrupts, "reenacting pornos or getting frisky with Lance?" JC glares at him while the rest snicker.

Lance pleads with him. "You're the most flexible out of anyone here. I'd have Chris do it, but he's old and probably has arthritis or something."

"Fine, but just this once," JC sighs. He gets on the floor and matches the position on the porno. JC thanks his lucky stars he's playing the part of the male here.

An exchange of shifty looks between the three watching makes JC suspicious. Very suspicious.

"I don't know," says Joey. "I still don't see it. I think you're going to have to take off your clothes."

"What? Uh uh. No. I've already got into a compromising position with Lance for you guys, I am not getting naked."

"It's not like anyone is taping this," grins Justin. "You've really got nothing to worry about. It's not like we haven't seen you naked before."

"That's completely beside the point! It's not like any of you were intently watching then!" No one says anything. "Were you?" Still more silence.

JC cringes. "Ew! I....no! And…and besides, Lance doesn't have the right equipment to accurately demonstrate that porno!"

"Like that's ever stopped Lance before. Just pretend he's got boobs and you'll be alright," Joey says.

"Ew, Joey, I do not want JC picturing me with boobs. Or anyone else for that matter," Lance counters.

"I don't know Lance," says Chris, "I think you might look kinda hot with boobs."

"Well I think…" Before Lance can finish, the bus comes to a near screeching halt, sending Chris on top of JC and Lance. "Oof!"

"See now Chris, that's what you get for saying I'd look hot with boobs."

JC, sandwiched between the two, just groans.

"Ooo you like that don't you JC?"

"Get the fuck off me Chris."

"Touchy touchy."

"I'm gonna go find out why we stopped," JC huffs. He stomps off to the front of the bus. On his way, he sees that the chinchilla's cage has fallen out of the bunk and is now lying on its side on the floor. Despite it interrupting his sleep, he feels sorry for the poor critter and removes it from the cage, taking it with him to the front of the bus. The chinchilla squeaks happily at him.

The bus driver sees JC approach. "Sorry about that, kid. Looks like we're really low on gas, and we have to stop here to refuel. Hope you don't mind waiting for a bit."

"Oh that's ok," says JC. "Just wanted to make sure everything was alright. Don't want another broken bus."

By this point the rest of the guys are making their way to the front of the bus. JC intercepts them. "Guys, we're getting off."

"Good, all that porn has made me hungry."

"Watching grass grow would make you hungry, Joey."

The guys pile off the bus in search of a McDonalds, or maybe even a Taco Bell if they're lucky. Appetites are quickly forgotten when what's across the street comes into view.

Joey speaks up as the rest of them simply stare. "Guys, the gods love us."

In big neon letters the sign reads: "ADULT EMPORIUM. Buy your accessories here!"

JC can only roll his eyes as the rest of them take off towards the store. He follows anyway.

The store is surprisingly well lit for a sex shop, JC thinks as he walks in. Still, the guy at the counter doesn't seem to notice that JC is carrying an animal in with him. Which kind of makes JC worry about what other kind of wildlife might have been in there.

Justin is bounding up and down the aisles with glee. "Oh man, this is way better than reenacting that film!"

"Anyone want some dildos?" yells Chris.

JC can't help but answer that one. "What, are there not enough dicks between the five of us for you Chris?"

"What's that I hear? Could JC actually be enjoying himself?"

"Well you know me, I can't resist kinky shit."

"God, don't we know it. You're the one who makes us sing about it."

"You should see the stuff I haven't shared with you guys." JC grins.

JC then spots something that nearly makes him tear up in laughter. On the wall, are attachable tails, like the type girls wear on Halloween. "Hey, Justin, want to reenact that rat fantasy of yours?"

The other guys leaned out the aisles and looked weirdly at Justin. "What?! I do not have a rat fantasy! What the fuck are you talking about?"

JC snickered. "I seem to remember a cage involved as well."

"I didn't say I wanted to be a rat! I said I was jealous of the rats. Sicko!"

JC grabbed it off the wall anyway. This could be fun.

After some ooing and ahhing and "what the hell is that for?"-ing, the guys make their purchases and try to sneak back to the bus without the driver seeing them. The last thing they need was for him to know what was going on while he drove.

Once back on the bus, the guys dump their stash on the floor. JC sets the chinchilla behind the couch. It doesn't need to watch. JC doesn't want to scar the poor thing for life.

Joey looks down at the pile. "Ok, guys, where do we start?"

JC stifles a laugh looking at the pile. There's a rather odd collection of things, including some leather something or another, the fuzzy tail, handcuffs, and things JC has no name for. He's not sure he wants to know either. At least Chris didn't buy any dildos.

"Turn that porno back on. I'm sure that'll give us an idea," Lance suggests. "As long as I don't have to be the chick this time."

"Before I watch y'all start in on this, I'm gonna run to the front of the bus real quick."

Justin glares at him. "Please tell me you're not bringing any rodents in here."

"Nope. Making sure they're as far away as possible!"

JC grabs the chinchilla from behind the couch and brings him back to the spot under his bunk. As he sets it back in the cage, he swears he sees it wink at him. Confused, JC returns to the back. The guys appear to be piled on the floor and some are half naked already.

Justin stops undressing when JC enters the room. "JC did you for real buy that tail? I think I'm gonna kill you."

Lance seems to enjoy it though. Probably some animal fetish he has. It would explain why he owns a ferret. "I thought that was you! You sneaky devil. You gonna make Justin put it on?"

"I'm only putting it on if JC wears the leather dog collar."

"Yea, ok, why not." JC buttons the collar on his neck as he watches Justin shed his pants and strap on the tail.

Joey starts singing. "M-I-C-K-E-Y M-O-U-S-E!

"Ew Joey that is just wrong! For that comment, you get to use....that thing! Whatever the fuck that is." JC points to an item he is not sure what its purpose is, but there are definitely chains involved.

Joey doesn't seem to have any qualms with it. He picks it up, along with the handcuffs. "Since we've all wished we could lock Chris up at some point or another, I say he gets to use these."

"I'll second that," says Justin.

Chris takes the handcuffs from Joey. "Well, since I'm not mean like the rest of you, Lance, pick whatever you want."

"Can I use the whip?"

"No, we'll save that for after the concert," Chris grins mischievously.

Lance picks another nameless item off the pile and puts it on. Chris then grabs Justin by his tail. "You really should wear a tail all the time Justin. It complements your ass rather nicely."

"Shut it Chris. Want me to handcuff you to kitchen table?"

"Ooo hey, there's an idea!" exclaims Joey. "Let's handcuff Chris to Justin!"

"What, you think I don't spend enough time with the freak already? I room with him for god's sake."

"You're right...let's cuff him to Lance!"

"Aw, but I want to play with Justin's tail too."

"God, JC I hate you for buying this damn thing."

JC snickers. Joey procedes to slap Chris' other handcuff onto Lance's wrist. JC sees it as a weak attempt at kink. "Just the wrist, Joey? Why didn't you cuff it to his ankle or something? Make it more interesting."

Joey scoffs at him. "There are five dudes, naked, on a bus, wearing sex objects. How much more interesting would you like it JC?"

"Here, let me help you make it interesting JC," Justin said. Suddenly JC felt something up his ass. Something long and furry.

Next thing JC knows, the rest of the pile is being thrown over the back of the couch. Good thing he moved the chinchilla. Death by flying vibrator would not be the way to go.

Things go downhill quickly from there. Bodies are on the floor and appendages are flying everywhere. Every now and then JC hears Joey's chain clink against Chris' handcuffs. He's not really sure what's going on most of the time, but one thing is for sure. It's fun.

 

After what seems like days, JC's exhausted, and so, apparently, are the other guys. They all flop down in the closest available area, letting out a collective sigh. JC thinks, maybe this one bus thing wasn't so bad after all.

Sitting there satiated, JC remembers something he was going to ask about earlier. Before all the clothes came off. "Lance, I've got a question for you."

"Whatever it is, I'm not doing it."

"Not that kind of question," JC rolls his eyes. "Can chinchillas wink?"

Joey gives him a strange look, like he's completely lost it. "JC, what are you talking about? We sold the chinchilla weeks ago."

JC is suddenly very confused. No chinchilla? But he saw it, he held it! It must've been real! Unless it was some freakishly weird omen.....

Joey sees the confused look on JC's face. "JC, quit thinking so hard. Your brain'll explode."

Joey smiles and pulls JC back to the floor.


End file.
